Permission To Stop Without Calling It Failure

An interest that becomes an obligation has changed into something else, and noticing that early is a skill worth having.

There is a difference between an interest and an obligation, and the boundary is easy to cross without noticing. An interest is something you look forward to with mild anticipation and occasional reluctance. An obligation is something you complete in order to avoid the feeling of having failed to complete it. Once a pursuit crosses over, the experience changes character entirely: the sessions get done, the enjoyment disappears, and the whole thing becomes a small standing debt in the corner of a week that already has enough of those.

The reason people continue past that point is usually a story about consistency: that stopping would prove something unflattering, that they always do this, that a person who quits things is a certain kind of person. The story is not true and it is expensive. Trying something for three months and concluding that it is not for you is a complete and successful process. You now know something about yourself that you did not know before, which is exactly what the trial was for. Stopping is a legitimate result, not an aborted attempt.

It is worth distinguishing stopping from the slump in the early middle, which is temporary and structural. A reasonable test: if you would be pleased to have already done today's session, the interest is intact and you are in a flat patch. If the thought of it being over is the only appealing part, that is different information. Either way, stopping is not permanent. Things get put down and picked up again years later, and the second beginning is nearly always easier than the first.